I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize