He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize