Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
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I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You ruined the universe
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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