Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize