Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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