I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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