I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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