you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
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I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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