Where did you get a picture of my penis
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
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I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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