a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
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Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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