I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize