just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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