We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
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Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
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She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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