DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize