Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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