Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize