I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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