If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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