After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize