i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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