she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
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I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
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And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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