Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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