omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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