I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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