Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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