What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize