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i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
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