if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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