What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize