My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize