If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
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Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
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LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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