oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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