does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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