How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize