u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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