i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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