he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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