This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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