he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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