I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize