Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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