Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
how drunk are you?
Several
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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