i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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