I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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