I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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