two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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