Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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