i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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