we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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