and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize